


like... y'know, nyandroids~

by jesse (accio_belle)



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Catboy Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Crack, Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Gen, THATS LITERALLY ALL THIS IS. ITS JUST CRACK. RAIN THIS ONE IS ON YOU BRO., it's just catboy Connor that's IT, rain called me the pioneer of catboy!Connor and honestly I am honoured, there are. no other tags to add to this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:48:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26902393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/accio_belle/pseuds/jesse
Summary: When Detective Connor Anderson awoke one morning with a pair of cat ears sprouting from his head and a tail growing from the base of his spine, his first reaction was “Hm. How odd.”---well! this sure does exist now!a gift for rain, who started this whole fucking mess in the first place /lh
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 13





	like... y'know, nyandroids~

**Author's Note:**

  * For [meggowo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/meggowo/gifts).



> hello and welcome to this pure 100% crack fic born of a very wild conversation with my very good friend rain (thank u rain ilysm <3 )
> 
> i cast catboyfication on connor detroitbecomehuman and say fuck you david cage he’s my catboy now. don’t @ me for inserting myself into the story i will jump at any chance to make myself hold hands with connor detroitbecomehuman
> 
> why yes rain i did gift this to you! bc you are a gift! and also i want you to know i wrote this hell for you specifically! enjoy! i love you! may it haunt your very dreams!
> 
> big thankies from mcspankies to mick who inspired the title, and to aspen who said he'd read it

When Detective Connor Anderson awoke one morning with a pair of cat ears sprouting from his head and a tail growing from the base of his spine, his first reaction was “Hm. How odd.”

His second reaction was to get dressed for work (carefully tucking the tail out of sight in his pants) and hide the ears with a beanie.

Out of sight, out of mind.

“What’s with the hat, kid?” Hank asked, once he caught sight of Connor walking through the precinct doors. “Never seen you wear one before.”

“A precautionary measure against the chilly weather, Lieutenant,” Connor lied. “Keeping myself warm will prevent the Thirium in my system from potentially freezing.”

Hank grimaced and didn’t ask any more questions. Connor breathed a sigh of relief, and sat down to start the day’s work.

As the day progressed, Connor’s curiosity started to get the better of him. He couldn’t stop thinking about what was hiding under his beanie and slacks. Sitting for long periods of time with a tail curled around his waist wasn’t entirely comfortable, either. It was starting to affect his work ethic, too; Hank caught him staring into space more than once.

_“Earth to Connor?”_

_“Hm? Oh, sorry, Lieutenant.”_

_“Everything alright, kid? You’re actin’ funny.”_

_“Yes, just… Some minor anomalies in my programming, I think.”_

_“Think it’s a virus?”_

_“I hope not. I will run diagnostics every hour if it would make you feel better.”_

_“Do whatever you need to, kid.”_

By lunch, the curiosity was too overwhelming to ignore any longer. Hank had left to grab something to eat from the Chicken Feed, leaving Connor back at the precinct to continue his work. Trying to draw as little attention to himself as possible, the android left his desk and headed for the men’s bathroom on the first floor. With any luck, he wouldn’t run into anybody on the way there.

* * *

The bathroom was empty, thank rA9. Connor’s cat ears twitched as he pulled off his beanie. He prodded at them curiously, rubbing the tips between his fingers. They felt like normal cat ears: warm, a little fuzzy on the outside, smooth on the inside. They connected seamlessly to the curve of his head. The blue-grey fur was a stark contrast to his own brown hair. His hearing had always been superior to that of a human’s, and it seemed like his new ears had the same capabilities. Connor could hear the buzzing of the bathroom’s fluorescent lights, faint clanging in the pipes, muffled voices beyond the door. 

Connor leaned close to the mirror. His eyes looked different, too. Dark brown irises had been replaced by a striking green, and his pupils had become a little more oval-shaped. Connor opened his mouth, running his tongue along the points of his canines. Those hadn’t changed too much, thankfully, they had all just gotten a little sharper.

_Felis catus, the domestic cat,_ Connor deduced. _Blue-grey fur and dark green eyes match those of the Russian Blue, a breed originating in Russia. Russian Blues are very energetic and make great hunters. Behavioural traits include high intelligence, excellent memory, curiosity, and a fierce loyalty to their people._

_How fitting._

Connor was so engrossed in exploring his newfound feline features, he failed to register the sound of footsteps approaching the bathroom.

“Connor, is everything- _what the everloving fuck?!”_

“Lieutenant!”

Connor snatched his beanie up off the counter and covered his ears, but it was too late. Hank had already seen the new set of ears. He looked shocked and bewildered, but he wasn’t running out of the bathroom screaming, so Connor counted this whole experience as a victory. At least it was Hank, and not Fowler. Or worse, Gavin.

“I seem to have grown several feline characteristics overnight.”

“Yeah, no shit, kid.” Hank paused. “Wait, _several?”_

“My eyes have changed colour as well, and my teeth are sharper. And I have a tail.”

“A tail. Jesus Christ.” Hank grabbed the android’s forearm and dragged him out of the bathroom. “C’mon, we’re going to get you checked out.”

The thought of seeing a CyberLife technician made Connor’s throat tighten. He dug in his heels, forcing Hank to stop walking.

“Do we have to?” Connor hated hearing the tremor in his voice. Apparently Hank heard it too; the man’s eyes softened and he loosened his grip on Connor’s arm.

“I know you hate dealing with CyberLife, son, but this isn’t something that will just go away on its own. You need professional help before it gets any worse.” When Connor didn’t respond, Hank laid a warm hand on his shoulder. “I’ll be right there the whole time, I promise. I won’t let ‘em do anything to you that you don’t want, alright?”

“Alright, Hank.”

Hank sent a message to Fowler telling him Connor wasn’t feeling well and that he would be taking the kid home, and the two left the precinct through the back door. A trio of small birds were hopping around near Hank’s car. Connor’s eyes locked on them, and a strange chittering noise bubbled up from his throat. The birds flew away, twittering. Connor clapped a hand over his mouth, wide eyes meeting Hank’s own.

“What the hell was that?” Hank demanded.

“I—” Connor swallowed. “I believe cats make sounds like those when they hunt birds. It’s supposed to draw the animal closer.”

“Well, don’t do it again, alright? This whole thing is already weird enough, I don’t need you chasing Tweety Bird into the street.”

Connor nodded wordlessly, opening the passenger door of Hank’s car and sliding in.

The drive to the CyberLife repair center was silent. Connor felt his Thirium pump cycle faster with each city block that brought them closer to the repair center. He hadn’t been to one of their facilities since he converted the androids in the basement of CyberLife tower. To say Connor was nervous would be an understatement.

He was downright terrified.

* * *

Hank pulled into the parking lot and shut off the engine.

“Come on, son, let’s get this over and done with.”

When Connor didn’t move, just stared wide-eyed at the CyberLife facility looming against the grey Detroit sky, Hank put a hand on his shoulder.

“I won’t let you out of my sight, Con. I swear.”

Connor nodded slowly. He moved to unbuckle himself, then winced.

“Would you mind stepping out for a moment, Lieutenant?”

Hank complied, albeit a little uneasily. After a long moment, he heard a muffled tearing noise, then Connor stepped out of the car. A long grey tail hung from a freshly-torn hole in the back of Connor’s slacks, the tip brushing the back of his knees. He wouldn’t meet Hank’s eyes. Dark blue Thirium coloured his cheeks and the tips of his (human) ears.

“Ready, Lieutenant,” Connor mumbled, trudging past Hank towards the building’s entrance. Hank bit back his laughter and followed Connor to the entrance.

A receptionist took one look at Connor’s ears and sent the two of them down an elevator to sub-level nine. The two men walked down several empty hallways, following the receptionist’s directions. The pristine walls made Connor even more nervous, though he tried not to show it.

Outside their destination, a figure sat hunched over on an uncomfortable-looking chair. As they approached, Connor realized he recognized the figure. And it wasn’t someone he was happy to see.

“Reed? The fuck are you doing here?”

Gavin Reed’s head shot up as Hank addressed him. He glanced at Connor’s ears, at the tail that slowly flicked back and forth. His eyes narrowed.

“None of your fuckin’ business, Anderson,” he sneered. “Though it looks like you got a bit of a problem on your hands with the plastic prick. Didn’t know he was a closet furry.”

Connor’s tail lashed from side to side, slapping against Hank’s leg. He swallowed a hiss, knowing it would only make Gavin mock him further. He scanned Gavin instead, noting the detective’s defensive body language. Why would Gavin, someone who so openly disliked androids, be at an android technician center?

The doors next to them slid open, drawing their attention. To Connor’s surprise, his brother Nines stood in the doorway. To even more of Connor’s surprise, Nines had a set of ears and a tail similar to Connor’s own. His ears were larger, though, and his tail was much bigger and fluffier. A visual scan identified them as belonging to the Maine Coon breed.

_“Maine Coons are one of the largest domesticated cat breeds,”_ Connor read from an article on cat breeds. _“They are known to be quite sociable and intelligent. They are loyal to their people, curious around strangers, and independent.”_ Just like his big little brother.

“Connor.” Nines’ voice was carefully neutral. His irises were now gold, with pupils exactly like Connor’s. One of his ears twitched. “Lieutenant Anderson. I see the two of you are in a similar predicament.”

Connor made eye contact with his brother. Their LEDs spun in tandem as they formed a telecybernetic connection.

_“What happened, Conrad?”_

_“Same as you, I expect. I awoke this morning with ears and a tail, and Detective Reed offered to drive me here to be checked out. The technicians said it’s a type of virus spread through android-to-android contact, originating from somewhere in the deep web. It’s mostly harmless, except for… obvious symptoms. They’re currently looking for a solution.”_

_“Do they have a timeline for when everything will be resolved?”_

_“Not yet.”_

_“Fantastic.”_

Once the connection between the brothers severed, Nines turned to Gavin. “Are you ready to go? We should be returning to work as soon as possible.”

Without a word, Gavin stood and walked away from the group, bumping Connor roughly as he passed by. Nines nodded goodbye to his brother and Hank, following Gavin down the hall. Just before the two men rounded the corner, Connor saw Gavin reach for Nines’ hand.

Hank shook his head. “What a stubborn prick,” he scoffed. “He saw the whole revolution, he saw you and Markus, he’s worked with you for over two years now. No idea why he insists on being such an ass.”

“Some things never change, Lieutenant,” Connor said, still watching where Gavin and Nines had disappeared. “But I think he might come around eventually.”

Hank snorted, glancing at Connor. “Ya got fur in your brain or something? Gavin Reed, not hating androids? Unlikely.”

Connor shrugged. “Just a hunch.”

“Well, let’s hope your ‘hunch’ is right. Every time he says some rude shit to you I’d love nothing more than to knock him flat on his ass.”

“Your concern is appreciated, Lieutenant.”

The two waited for several minutes until the doors opened again. A young, blue-haired technician glanced up at them from a clipboard, eyes roaming over Connor’s feline features.

“You as well?” they asked. Without waiting for an answer, they added, “That makes you the fifth one this week. Come on in.”

They took a step back into their lab, then turned back to Hank. “Oh, sorry, would you like to join him?”

Hank nodded. “If it ain’t too much trouble.”

“None at all, I assure you. Please, follow me.”

Connor and Hank followed Rain into their lab. It was kept quite pristinely, with strange instruments on tables and machines connected to the walls. The entire room was a blend of sterile white and metallic silver, reminiscent of the old CyberLife android testing rooms. Even the air smelled sharp, though Connor traced a few food-related scents back to a trash can by the door and one of the workstations. A second technician was typing single-handedly on a laptop, the other hand holding a detached android arm. The fingers flexed. Connor felt a shiver run up his spine.

The technician with the clipboard led Hank and Connor to a couple of chairs next to a tidy workstation.

“Please, have a seat,” they said, gesturing to the chairs as they sat at their own desk. “My name is Rain, and over there is my work partner, Jesse.”

The second technician used the android’s arm to wave at the group without looking away from the laptop. Connor shivered again, taking a seat next to Hank.

“Lieutenant Hank Anderson,” Hank said, “and this is my partner, Connor.”

Rain smiled. “It’s a pleasure to meet you both. It’s not often we get Detroit’s finest in here, but it seems like this week has been a special case.”

Out of habit, Connor scanned the technician and read their data as it popped up in his visual feed.

**_HARDING, RAIN_ **

_Born: 06/21/2013 // Ex-CyberLife technician, now works for Jericho_

_Criminal record: None_

Connor scanned the technician’s workstation next, trying to occupy his mind with something other than how anxious this was already making him. Rain’s papers were neatly organized, a few files opened to be revised. They had several photos taped to their desk: one of them with two very handsome-looking dogs, a couple of them and Jesse at a beach, one of them with their face illuminated by candles on a birthday cake, and one black-and-white Polaroid of them laughing at something out of frame. A half-filled coffee cup—black, two cream, one sugar—sat next to an unfinished Rubik’s Revenge cube—10 moves away from a successful completion. The computer terminal was split-screen; half of the screen displayed a long note filled with medical and technical jargon, the other half showed a partially finished game of Solitaire. Rain noticed Connor examining it and smiled.

“It gets a little boring in here sometimes,” they explained. “But not this week, apparently. I take it you two are here for the same problem as our last guests?”

“My brother,” Connor said, “and it would appear so.”

“Hop up on the table, we’ll take a look at you. Jesse!” they shouted, “get your ass over here!”

The other technician set the detached arm down and glided (???) over to where Connor sat. Rain glanced at their shoes, then sighed and fixed them with a stern look.

“Are you wearing Heelys in my fucking lab again.” It wasn’t a question.

“Okay, one: _our_ fucking lab, you dick,” Jesse shot back, “and two: Heelys are the best, you’re just a hater.”

“Remove those abominations effective immediately, Jesse Richard, or I am burning them the moment your back is turned.”

As the two bickered, Connor scanned the other technician.

**_RICHARD, JESSE_ **

_Born: 03/12/2014 // Ex-CyberLife technician, now works for Jericho_

_Criminal record: Minor vandalism_

Connor couldn’t help the question that popped out of his mouth. “Minor vandalism?”

Hank groaned. “Connor, how many times have we talked about not scanning people without their permission?

Jesse waved him off with a small smile. “Nah, I don’t mind, it’s his job.” He turned to Connor with a smile. “I did a little graffiti in my teens and didn’t cover my tracks as well as I thought I did. Considering the fact that I am in the presence of two very competent and influential police officers, I will say out loud I only got caught once, but if that number is not the actual number, you’ll never know.” With that, they Heely’d smoothly back to their desk and changed into regular sneakers.

Rain picked up a tablet and a small circular clip. “Before we do anything, I want to check your vitals to make sure nothing else is out of order.”

Connor nodded, trying to hide how uneasy he felt. “Do what you must.”

Rain led him over to a flat examination table. Connor shed his blazer, folding it over his lap beneath his hands. Rain carefully attached the clip to Connor’s temple, just beneath his LED. They pressed it and it beeped once, beginning to scan Connor’s vitals.

Jesse walked over, holding something that looked like an infrared temperature gun, and slowly scanned Connor from head to toe.

“The scanner will show us if you have any internal anomalies, without us needing to open any panels,” Jesse explained. They studied the screen, humming a tune— _a portion of “Think of Me” from The Phantom of the Opera musical_ , Connor’s Shazam search concluded—as they wrote the results down on a pad of paper.

“Nothing out of the ordinary’s showing up,” he confirmed, “which is a good sign that your organs haven’t been damaged by whatever changed your appearance.”

He set the scanner down, then flashed a penlight in Connor’s eyes.

“Elongated pupils,” he told Rain, who typed it into their tablet. “Did they change colour, Connor, or have they always been green?”

“They were brown before today,” Connor said. Rain added it to their tablet.

Jesse lowered the penlight from Connor’s eyes; the android blinked hard several times and rubbed his eyes to remove the spots from his vision.

“Anything else?” the technician asked, rolling the penlight between their fingers. Connor bared his sharpened teeth in reply. Jesse’s eyebrows darted upwards, and he gently grasped Connor’s chin in his fingers.

“May I?”

“Go ahead.”

Jesse tucked the penlight into the pocket of their lab coat. With a movement too tender to be professionally appropriate, he tilted Connor’s chin down, opening his mouth. They ran the pad of their thumb along his bottom teeth, along his top teeth, probed gently where his canines met his gums. Their skin was warm where it touched Connor’s face.

“Fascinating,” Jesse murmured, briefly meeting Connor’s eyes. Theirs were brown, just like his. “Write it down, would you, Rain?”

“On it.” They typed Jesse’s findings into their tablet, peering at Connor’s mouth themself. Connor felt very much like a brightly-coloured fish on display at the aquarium Hank had taken him to visit last month. Or perhaps a shark, considering the teeth.

The clip on his temple beeped again. Rain carefully removed it, placing it on the examination table next to the scanner.

“Your Thirium pump is beating a little faster than average,” Rain noted, looking up from their tablet. “Are you feeling alright?”

“I am… not a fan of technicians,” Connor admitted, glancing at Hank for support. “I have had less-than-pleasant experiences with CyberLife in the past.”

Jesse smiled. “I don’t like doctors either,” he said, extending a hand to Connor. Connor took his hand, watching the human’s fingers curl around his own. Their hand was warm, too, and solid; if Connor focused on it, he could feel the blood pulsing beneath their skin. He kept his eyes on their joined hands, trying to ignore how the rest of the room made his artificial skin crawl.

“I have a tendency to faint when I get vaccinations,” Jesse confessed. “Rain has to come with me to make sure I don’t get too worked up.”

“One time, he passed out in front of our entire class in seventh grade,” Rain added, ignoring Jesse’s look of betrayal. Connor smiled. “I had to pretty much carry them to the nurse’s office after he woke up.”

“Hey, you got to skip physics so you could drive me home, I think you should be thanking me for that.”

Their friendly banter calmed Connor; he watched his stress levels tick slowly downwards as Rain continued their examination and Jesse talked to him. Their hand never left his own, not even for a second. By the time Rain finished, he was nearly back to his usual 10%.

“It looks like he’s got the same thing as the other androids we’ve seen,” Rain said, turning to address Hank.

“Which is?"

“We’re believe it to be some very bugged lines of code originating from somewhere in the deep web. We don’t know how it started to spread, but our best guess is from an infected e-mail. Jesse and I are working to isolate the code and develop a program to erase it, but it’s slow going.”

“And is there any way to get rid of—” Hank gestured wordlessly to Connor’s head. “It’s only a matter of time before someone else sees he’s got cat ears stickin’ outta his head and a tail coming outta his ass.”

“It’s quite simple, really,” Rain began. “Since the problem is fairly deep in his code to have affected him this badly, it’s going to take some time to get rid of it properly.” They turned back to Connor, scribbling something on their clipboard. “For now, the best we can do is update your firewalls and lessen the strength of the bugged code until our deletion program has been finished.”

“It won’t take long,” Jesse added, “and it isn’t terribly invasive. We’ll put you in stasis for half an hour to 45 minutes, maximum, in order to upgrade your security systems. We’ll be in and out in a flash.”

He squeezed Connor’s hand reassuringly and smiled.

“If you don’t want to, it’s okay,” Rain continued. “Leaving your security systems as they are now won’t harm you, but upgrading them will reduce the appearance of the ears and tail, as well as remove any non-visible side effects, such as purring.”

“Sorry, _purring?_ ” Hank echoed. “You gotta be joking.”

Jesse reached up with their free hand and ran their fingers through the hair behind Connor’s cat ears, scratching their short nails against his scalp. A rumbling purr immediately started emanating from his chest and throat. The android’s eyes widened, and the purr stuttered to a halt.

“Purring,” Jesse affirmed with a small laugh. “If it makes you feel better, your brother did the same thing.”

Connor was suddenly, fiercely grateful Gavin had been waiting outside the lab and not inside with Nines.

“I’ll take the upgrade,” he said before he could overthink it. “You’re… you’re sure it’s safe?”

Rain nodded, smiling. “Developed the program myself two days ago. If it’s Kamski you’re worried about, I swear on my life he hasn’t even been in the same room as us since last Monday.”

Rain led Connor to a diagnostic machine hooked up to a computer. With the push of a button the machine whirred to life, a command code request blinking across the screen.

“You’ll have to remove your shirt so we can access some of the ports on your back,” Jesse said, and was it Connor’s imagination, or did the tips of his ears darken ever so slightly as he said that?

Connor undid his tie and unbuttoned his grey dress shirt. He handed them to Jesse, who draped them over the back of a nearby chair. He pulled his undershirt over his head and added it to the pile of clothes. He carefully stepped onto the machine’s platform, bracing his arms on the supports. Rain pulled a thick cable from a tangle of wires and connected it to a port on the back of Connor’s neck. He tried not to shudder at the uncomfortable sensation.

“Hank?” Connor called, suddenly very nervous. In a flash, the lieutenant was by his side, hand on his forearm.

“Right here, son. Ain’t going anywhere.”

Rain connected several more cables to other ports across Connor’s shoulders and back. Connor tried his best to stay still, but he flinched as a cable was inserted into his lower back. His fingers flexed and formed a fist.

A hand slipped itself into one of his and squeezed. Connor couldn’t turn his head to see who it was, but he was fairly sure he knew who it was regardless.

“Computer, begin sequence 4D3D3D3,” Rain said. The machine hummed. A jolt of electricity shot up Connor’s spine. He arched his back as much as the cables would let him, crying out.

“You’re okay, Connor, it’s alright,” he heard Jesse say, their voice wavering, “it’s just the activation process. It’s over. You can enter stasis, it’s okay. We’ve got you.”

**> INITIATING STASIS…**

**> STAND BY FOR SHUTDOWN…**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

Connor felt each of his senses shut down one by one. The last thing he saw before slipping fully into stasis was Rain handing a tablet to Hank, and Jesse smiling at him.

“See you in a flash, Connor,” they said, squeezing his hand.

* * *

**.**

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C Y B E R **L I F E** INC.

**DATE**

**JAN 21ST** , 2041

**TIME**

**PM 06:19** :27

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**MODEL RK800**

**SERIAL#: 313 248 317 - 51**

**UNIT DESIGNATION [CONNOR]**

**BIOS 20.1 REVISION 0069**

**SYSTEM REBOOTING...**

**LOADING OS…**

**SYSTEM INITIALIZATION…**

**CHECKING BIOCOMPONENTS…** **OK**

**INITIALIZING BIOSENSORS...** **OK**

**INITIALIZING AI ENGINE...** **OK**

**MEMORY STATUS...** **OK**

**SYSTEM CALIBRATION...** **89%**

**ALL SYSTEMS** **OK**

**READY**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**< COMMAND RECEIVED. >**

**[ WAKE UP, CONNOR ]**

* * *

Connor felt heavy. There were voices around him, but they sounded muffled, like he was underwater. He tried to open his eyes and the world spun sickeningly.

**[ SYSTEM CALIBRATION...** **82% ]**

The cable in the back of his neck detached and his head fell forward, chin hitting his chest. A pair of hands grasped his shoulders, keeping him from falling over.

“What the fuck is wrong with ‘im?!” a gruff, familiar voice barked.

“This happened before, with an android that came in three days ago,” a second voice replied. “Remember when I said I fainted after a vaccination? This is similar. Connor’s system got so worked up, it shut down as a safety precaution. He’ll be okay in a moment.”

A hand moved from his shoulder to his cheek. “Connor?” the second voice asked. “Can you hear me?”

“...m–uh.”

_Very eloquent, Connor,_ he thought wryly. _CyberLife’s second-most advanced android ever created, and the best you can do is “muh”. Thank rA9 Nines isn’t here._

More cables were removed from along his spine. Connor felt his limp body be carefully supported down from the machine and settled on the floor. Someone leaned against his side, offering support. Someone else pushed a container of Thirium into his hands. They guided the straw to his mouth like a parent taking care of a sick child.

“Open your eyes when you’re ready, Connor,” came a third voice.

As he carefully sipped at his Thirium, Connor felt his systems realign themselves with the waking world. He tentatively opened one eye; when the world stayed upright, he opened the other one. The first thing he saw was Hank, sitting in a chair right in front of him. He smiled fondly as Connor’s eyes met his.

“Welcome back, son,” he said. “Feelin’ alright?”

Connor nodded, not quite trusting his vocal synthesizer yet. Beside him, Jesse ran their fingers through his hair. Connor braced himself for another embarrassing purr… but nothing happened. He reached up and felt around for the cat ears. They were still there, as he had expected, but they were smaller. Less noticeable. The tail, too, was shorter by a good four inches. A relieved smile spread across Connor’s face.

“Looks like the security upgrade was a complete success!” Rain reported from in front of the computer. “You may feel a little disoriented for the next day or so, but other than that, you’re good to go.”

Once Connor dressed himself again, Rain and Jesse ran the same tests on him as they had before. To everyone’s relief, all scans came back normal. His eyes were brown again, his pupils round, his teeth dull. Minus the smaller ears and shorter tail, Connor looked as human as everybody else in the room.

“We’ll contact you as soon as the deletion program is finished,” Rain said, handing Connor a business card, “and you can bring Connor in when you’re free.”

“Anything else we should know for the meantime?” Hank asked, glancing at Connor’s ears and tail.

“Nothing should interfere with his ability to work. But if you'd rather take some time off so nobody asks awkward questions, you can tell Captain Fowler it’s been recommended by the two technicians in charge of the whole thing.”

“If I were you, I’d take the time off,” Jesse interjected. “I know how insufferable Gavin is to be around. Especially now that he knows about the cat thing.”

Connor turned to the technician, curious. “You’re familiar with Detective Reed?”

Jesse rolled his eyes. “Unfortunately, yes. That tends to happen when your mom marries his mom.”

Connor and Hank shared a surprised glance. Jesse shrugged.

“He’s a dick, I will admit that with absolutely zero hesitation. I can’t tell you the number of times he’s pulled shitty pranks on me. Pretty cool about the whole trans thing, though. Less cool about the ‘used to work for CyberLife but now I work for the leader of the android revolution’ thing.” He sighed. “Not that I care very much what he thinks of me. I, for one, think he’s an arrogant prick who should’ve been kicked off the force about a dozen infractions ago, but that ain’t up to me. How unfortunate.”

Hank gestured to them, a grin on his face. “You. I like you.”

Jesse grinned back, making finger guns. “I get that a lot once people find out. If we had shared a womb, I would have eaten him, plain and simple. Lucky for him, he shared with one Elijah Kamski, whom I can say nothing bad about, because he is kind of my boss, and also my favorite step-brother, and also is buying me lunch tomorrow, and also probably has a half-dozen hidden cameras in this room because he thinks he’s Big Brother.”

“ _Any_ -ways,” Rain interrupted, shooting Jesse with eyes that read _‘you’d best shut your mouth now before you run it off a cliff’_ , “we hope to have the program finished as soon as possible. Connor, if anything comes up, like the ears and tail regrowing or more feline characteristics show up, let us know and we’ll do what we can.”

* * *

Rain watched the lieutenant lead the android out of the technician bay’s doors, arm around his shoulders. Connor’s shortened tail swayed as he walked, curling and uncurling with every few steps. The doors closed behind them and the technician’s workstation was quiet once again.

Until Jesse let out a joyous whoop and leapt into the air.

Rain groaned, pinching the bridge of their nose, as Jesse danced a victory lap around his workstation, their eyes bright with joy.

“It worked! It fuckin’ _worked_! Holy shit!”

“You just catboy-ified two of the most influential members of the Detroit Police Department.”

“I know!”

“You just catboy-ified two of the most influential members of the Detroit Police Department, and somehow didn’t get caught by either of them.”

“I _know_ ! Isn’t it amazing?” He held up a hand, making a mock serious face. “And they’re called _nyandroids_ , thank you very much.”

“Nyandroids. Right. You’re going to jail for this someday, you know.”

“Only if I get caught, my dear Rainbow, and I am much too pretty for prison. Not to mention the perks that come with being Kamski’s third favorite person in this entire building. Also, I got to hold hands with Connor and I made him purr, so huff my duff.”

“Your mad scientist tendencies are going to be your downfall, I’m sure of it. Why’d you do it, anyways?”

Jesse grinned, pulling his laptop towards him. They pushed their glasses up the bridge of his nose and began to type.

“Simple: you gotta love a good catboy!”

**Author's Note:**

> i made connor a russian blue bc they are curious, loyal, friendly, wikipedia straight up calls them “fierce hunters”, and also bc my boyfriend has a russian blue and i love her a lot :3
> 
> i made nines a blue maine coon because the thought of nines trying to hide a big fucking fluffy tail is so funny to me <3 also bc they’re brothers and connor’s a russian blue, so blue for nines too!
> 
> if you’re confused by the pronoun-switching for jesse (aka me), he uses he/they! the security program sequence is from Tayne, aka one of my favorite videos ever.


End file.
